The Existential Loneliness of the Peacemakers – the Early Awakened
At times, the path of the Peacemaker can be a lonely one. For me, this has been one of the most unexpected and difficult parts of the journey. We begin to observe how few people know this path exists or seem to have any interest in seeking it out. For a time, we look around and everyone seems so intensely distracted by so many things that now seem so trivial to us. Indeed there is a certain existential loneliness that is often experienced by peacemakers—a loneliness we may have felt since we were very young. We may have felt that we never truly fit in with our peers, our families, our societies, our species. We may have often felt that the things that are important to the rest of the world are just not important to us and vice versa.
This loneliness can lead to almost desperate attempts to connect with others. We find ourselves in problematic personal relationships, in out-of-balance social situations and in a myriad of conversations where we feel we are not being ourselves—all in an effort to belong, to find where, how and with whom we truly fit. We can continue in these compromised situations for a long time, perhaps for a lifetime.
As a friend, Jeff Brown, posted on line recently:
Friends fell away as I individuated on my soul’s journey. As I shed one selfsense, I no longer identified with the people attached to it. Old ways of interacting seemed artificial, scripted, silly. Whereas before it was fine to hang out and waste time, now there was no time to lose. Now I had to protect my sacred purpose from connections that undermined it.
Be prepared for the lonely times on the journey. It can be very isolating to quest for true-path amid the trumpets of modern life. Walking through uncharted territory often means walking alone. This is particularly true in the transition stages ￼before we find our consciousness soulpod. It’s like primary school all over again— who will be my first REAL friends? They call to us, we call to them, and our angels broker the deal.”
A few peacemakers are beginning to awaken and are here to assist in the awakening of all other minds, for we cannot find the Peacemaker within ourselves until we see it in everyone. We are becoming active peacemakers sent to awaken latent peacemakers. We understand that we, too, were once sleepwalking and may do so again and will need to be reawakened. It is our compassionate understanding of the illusions that others are still caught in—illusions that once held sway over us— that allows us to serve as a bridge for others from these illusions to Reality, from fear to love. If we are courageous enough to face being misunderstood and rejected, even by those we love, and to face the loneliness that this may sometimes cause, in time we will learn that we are never really alone—the Creator is beside us every moment, as are a host of angelic guides and teachers. Or as one ancient saying puts it, “When we are alone, God is our neighbor.”
If at times we feel we’re alone, we just remember that there are millions of others all over the world who are actively on this path with us. Even if it’s only one in a thousand, that’s still millions worldwide (though dealing with the other 999 can be exasperating at times). Know that just beyond the next bend may be a fellow awakened peacemaker who will be as delighted to meet us as we are to meet them. If we just keep walking the path, companions will be brought to us and will help us with our assignments as we will help them. Often, as you will see in our journey, they may be from such a different background and culture from us that we are surprised to find the comfortable intimacy that a shared worldview can offer.
As our hearts open, we will not need to search for love. Love will find us. Though it may not come in the form we expect, each day the Creator will send people to us with whom we may learn and teach our lessons of love. We need only get up everyday and ask, “Creator, who are you sending me to love today?”
Some of these may be casual relationships. We smile at a stranger. We joke with a child who has bumped into us. We let someone go ahead of us in traffic. Other times, they may be more sustained relationships lasting several years or decades. A tumultuous intimate relationship may reveal things about us we are ready to heal. A workplace relationship may blossom into a deep friendship. A close neighbor may teach us an important life lesson. Then, there are some relationships with family members, friends and mates that last a lifetime and offer us continuing lessons.
Claiming ourselves as peacemakers does not mean that we necessarily need to abandon or change any of these relationships. If we believe that, we will fear a path of love, believing that it will separate us from those we cherish. We are never being asked to sacrifice anything we truly love on this path. It just means that we let go of illusions, of fear-based relationships, and accept the truth—that we are all spiritual peacemakers sent to bless the world with our love. It just means that we view each person, each situation, each event in our world as part of our assignment of teaching love.
However, if a few of our relationships are compromising, draining or even toxic, they can deplete us and weaken our spiritual vision. We may decide to limit or cease our physical contact in those relationships—temporarily or permanently. We can continue to work toward loving these people unconditionally but perhaps from a greater physical and emotional distance. It’s not a matter of judging or disliking another but rather of loving yourself. We surrender and release the old painful fear-based relationship for a new love-based one, knowing that the gift of this new relationship awaits the other person, when they decide to accept it.
These problematic relationships may also serve to be our best teaching aids as they train us to rise above our upset, our anger, our judgment, and sense of being diminished to remember our instructions, our assignment. At times the person we are having the hardest time loving is often our best teacher at each stage of our life—stretching our ability to love and forgive while at the same time being willing to honor and maintain our own personal boundaries. These painful relationships often reveal our lingering traces of guilt, low self-esteem or the mistaken belief that we need to rescue others or that we are always somehow responsible if they are angry or judgmental towards us. These relationships, no matter how upsetting, are gifts to allow these issues to be revealed so they can be healed.
Striving to love someone unconditionally does not mean that you never change the form of the relationship but only that the function—to love them unconditionally—stays the same. You may decide to separate, divorce, quit a job or physically leave a relationship that is dominated by fear or other discordant vibrations. Sometimes you find yourself in a relationship, perhaps a long-standing one, where you are in such a different place from the other person that during your time together you feel compromised or diminished. You may decide you need to physically remove yourself from that relationship while still sending a silent message of love to them.
To some this example may appear unloving and insensitive. After all, who could agree that altering seemingly close relationships with relatives, friends and neighbors is a loving course of action? “They need us. It will hurt their feelings.” However, viewed from another perspective, we are simply setting our personal boundaries. There is so much need in the world, each of us must consciously decide what we have available to give each person or we run the chance of becoming so depleted that we are not able to effectively complete our assignment.