Rising (not falling) in Love

Rising (not falling) in Love

So here I am in my sixties, after 32 years married and now three years single – and a four decades into my spiritual search. So how do I bring all these elements together as I am now “available” for my next couple’s journey. There are some conclusions I have reached as I open myself to yet another amazing gift – meeting my “twin soul” – from a loving Creator who has already gifted me so much.

I now seek as much as a romantic partner, a life companion and co-worker; someone who will help me stay awake – as I help them – to the Reality that we chose to incarnate here with a Divinely-given assignment – to learn and teach love through forgiveness and compassion; someone who will assist me in my individualized assignment as I help them in their’s and as we join together to do a joint assignment (pun intended).

And as I have started dating and courting, the physical component (often referred to as “sex”) enters in. In this area, I have arrived at another principle for me for “rising in love” – the level of my physical commitment needs to match the level of my emotional, mental and spiritual commitment. This assists in avoiding the trap of using my body – and that of another – as a “pleasuring vehicle” instead of a”communication vessel” to communicate to other bodies that we are not just bodies but Spirit too.”

If I am beginning to explore possibilities with someone, hand holding and kissing seems natural. Ongoing, each deepening – emotional, mental and spiritual – can be matched by a deepening physical exploration (again, pun intended). All else would be lower root chakra driven which usually leads to a painful wakeup call. To go “all the way” physically, I need to be “all the way” in ALL areas (this decision has now created two years of celibacy making me an “honorary virgin.” The one lapse was part of my “learning curve” and she was a beautiful French woman and you know how those French women are.)

I am one of the many boomers who, after decades married, find myself single in my sixties. It’s kind of thrilling. You never know when you might meet someone and take another run at a romantic relationship – this time after decades of hard-won life wisdom and spiritual searching. After three years that included several courtships and one romance, I’m learning a few things but not yet quite enough to have created a new-paradigm, love-based union that I intend to. I may be close. Time will tell.
Here’s a few things I have learned.
In the last four decades, we have developed love-based, new-paradigm alternatives – or embraced ancient ones – in almost every area of our lives (solar, wind, holistic health, organic foods, natural childbirth, hospice, women and gay rights movements, validation of many spiritual paths, self-help, yoga, meditation, conscious music that “downloads the instructions,” etc.). However, the last frontier seems to be in our romantic unions. This is understandable as we are seeking to create a non-codependent, love-based love relationship. It ain’t easy!
Certain people have been called to bring forward clear, life-sustaining alternatives in many areas so that we might birth this new age of love and spirituality and create the Heaven on Earth that is possible. Just as the people who pioneered solar, holistic health, organic gardening, etc. are the ones who had – by their nature – a compelling draw and attraction to that area of life, so, too, are the pioneers of new-paradigm unions those who have always had an inner calling to express love in every area of their lives. They will be the “givers,” the emotional healers, the “lovers.” They are the ones for whom the giving and receiving of love – in its myriad of forms – was always one, if not “the,” top priority in their lives.
In the past, those who remember life is “for giving” often got deeply involved with those whom viewed life as “for getting.” Many of these people, these “awakened givers,” out of their healthy desire to love as well as their own unhealed insecurities and fears, have chosen to get involved with people who had a need to be loved but often difficulty in giving and expressing love – “sleeping givers”. Usually, these unions have been frustrating and painful. Since unlike other areas, this effort takes two people, I am beginning to believe that this vital work of forming – finally – true love-based, spiritual unions is best accomplished if both are “awakened givers.”
(This reasoning to be continued and posted on my FB page under “Wisdom Blog” on my website www.OasisCarrboro.com under “


To be continued . . .

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